I really want to cry right now

For the past month I have been nearly useless. I feel so powerless. I cant get myself to get anything done. I have not seen a doctor to be diagnosed with ADHD but everything I hear about it just check all the boxes. I even struggle to go see a doctor about it. I am 38m, husband and father. Im struggling so much and so afraid to lose my job. My wife isn't the most understanding about mental health. My daughters are amazing. I don't want to be a failure to them. I am honestly lost, and seriously struggling to see a clear path. If not for my daughters I don't know what would be of me as I don't see a reason to be such a burden to people around me.