"Just do what you're told and don't ask why."
As an ADHD'er, do you find it difficult to "just do what you're told" whether it's in the workplace as an adult or with parents as a child? This is something I continually find myself in this situation. I want to know things like why am I being asked to do this, why is this thing that you're asking me to do done in this way, why can't we do this thing that way that I think is more efficient instead of this way that you're telling me, etc., etc. How about you?
Some talking points:
Why ADHD Folks Ask “Why” So Often
- Interest-Based Nervous System:
- People with ADHD are often motivated by curiosity, novelty, and understanding the bigger picture. Tasks that seem arbitrary or lack context don’t activate the brain’s reward system, making them feel pointless or downright unbearable.
- Asking “why” is the ADHD brain’s way of seeking a reason to engage. If you know the purpose behind a task, it can create a connection or spark interest, which makes it easier to focus.
- Need for Clarity:
- ADHD brains struggle with vague instructions or tasks that don’t make sense. Asking “why” is often a way to fill in the gaps, reduce ambiguity, and avoid mistakes later on.
- Rejection of Authority for Authority’s Sake:
- Many ADHD folks struggle with hierarchical systems where “because I said so” is the norm. The need to understand why is partly about respecting your own autonomy—it’s hard to blindly follow orders when you don’t see the rationale.
- Executive Function Challenges:
- When a task feels overwhelming or out of reach, asking “why” can help break it into smaller, more manageable pieces. Understanding the purpose can provide a roadmap for how to tackle it.