AITA For wanting to have a relationship in college instead of waiting for the person I've liked for a year now

Am I (18f) the asshole for wanting to have a relationship in college instead of waiting for my online situationship (19m) to be ready to commit? Fake names will be used

Hi, this is a bit of a complicated story so I'm gonna try my best to make it make sense. Me and Marc have been friends for over a year now, meeting on an online community. We text and call daily, play games together, watch movies together, all that fun stuff. I've liked him romantically for a while and he's liked me back. The issue? I want a label and he doesn't. We tried being exclusive for a while which was nice, but I was constantly just anxious about the lack of a label. The fact that it was online just made it feel less secure without the label while labels make him feel trapped. So after like a huge spiral session for the both of us, we just ended up dropping that entirely. I started college in fall and realized how far behind I was from my peers. I haven't had my first kiss yet, I've held hand romantically with someone once, I've been on a singular date. So! I started exploring that and going on dates. It upset him when I talked about said dates and stuff, so I stopped but I made it clear that it's what I was doing. It was fine again for a while, but it has exploded in our faces AGAIN.

Basically, I posted on my insta story a silly joke being like haha im free febuary 14th to be like "I don't have a valentines!" Cobi asked me to be his in response to the story, but I thought it was just as friends since he called me his best friend literally a week ago so I was like omg ofc! I have been persuing this girl for a while now and she made me a card asking me to be her valentine! She even rubbed the outside with orange peels cause she knows how much I love the smell of oranges! It's the first time anyone has ever done that for me so I got excited and showed him and he got upset.

This morning, I asked him to talk about it and I admit, I shouldn't have pushed for that when he told me he didn't want to talk about it. But in my defense, if we didn't now, it would've just built up and exploded in our faces later. Turns out he still feels romantically for me and he's upset that I dismiss that simply because he's physically not here with me. In all honesty, that is a main reason why I'm experimenting. If Marc were here with me, it wouldn't even be a question on whether I'd be with him or not. But he's not here with me and I want to experience all my firsts and have fun. If he were willing to commit to a label, I'd be way more on board with being in a romantic relationship with him, but he isn't and I can't go without one so either way, one of us would be miserable.

We plan on him moving up here in a few months to get away from a rough situation and now he's rethinking that entirely over this which is upsetting me. I want him to be in a good place to grow and be happy in ways his current home can't do, not so that me and him can date, ya know? He's rethinking it entirely because he thinks that if he's up here and I start dating someone, it'll just make him just as miserable but I genuinely don't think that'll be a problem because Marc is and always will be my person. I just want to have a casual relationship to have fun with while we mature and figure shit out more, I don't think that's unreasonable? Like it sucks, yes, but it's either we both sit and wait for each other to drop what they want with labels or I at least get to experience some joy and whimsy? I don't know, it also feels cruel on the girl I pursued because how am I supposed to say "Oh btw if this man from across the country were to move here, I'd more than likely run into his arms and never leave" like ik that's not fair to her at all, but I really do like her and now I just feel stuck. I can tell I'm a shitty person for that part, but I still don't think I'm exactly an asshole for wanting to experiment and have fun for a while since he can't commit to a label yet and I can't drop a label.

I really don't know what to do, all my friends say I'm not the asshole for this, but I feel like they're just biased towards me and I really do understand why he's upset, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. It feels like there's no winning either way. Help!