AITA for feeling like I’m being treated unfairly

Hi, and thank you in advance for reading as it’s a long one.

I (30sF) went through a lot of childhood emotional and physical abuse from a narcissistic parent until I finally cut her out of my life many years ago. Since then, I reconnected with my estranged father (60sM), and for a while, things were going well.

However, after I endured a traumatic event (I was sexually assaulted), I completely shut down emotionally and wasn’t coping well. Instead of offering support, my father cut his contact with me in half. It felt like he just couldn’t be bothered with me anymore—like as long as I was happy and bubbly, I was worth his time, but the moment I had a real struggle, I became an inconvenience. Fast forward to my last visit (they live several hundred miles away), and it became clear that my stepmother seems to take issue with almost anything I do—even things that shouldn’t matter. For example: • We went on a family day out, but I wasn’t feeling great due to a health condition and the heat, so I left with my daughter (10F) to go sit down somewhere. This left my dad, my partner (30sM), my son (18M), my younger daughter (7F), my stepmom, my sister, and my niece (6F) and nephews (10M & 12M) to continue around the park. While waiting, I bought myself and my daughter a can of soda since our water was finished. By the time my family showed up 20 minutes later, the drink was nearly gone. My stepmother acted like I was an asshole for buying myself and my daughter a drink when no one else was even there. • Later that day, my younger daughter (7F) was exhausted, so her dad picked her up and carried her on his shoulders. Not long after, my sister told me that my niece got upset and said it wasn’t fair that my daughter got carried and she didn’t. To “make up for it,” my sister said she had to take my niece into a shop and buy her a treat.

I said nothing in these situations, but honestly, they feel toxic and manipulative. These aren’t the only incidents—this keeps happening, and it’s always something involving me or my children.

So, Reddit, was I the asshole in any of these situations? Or is this as messed up as I think it is?