AITAH for snooping on my boyfriend's phone?
My boyfriend (34M) and I (27M) have been in a relationship for 2 years. We live together and even have a joint bank account. We've had our ups and downs, but we've always been able to work them out. We both have things we still have to work on, but overall, I'd say our relationship is going pretty solid.
My BF and I have an agreement in our relationship where we know each other's phone passwords and we don't really care if we get on each other's phones. Any time we get on each other's phones, it's usually because our own phone is dead or we are playing a game on the phone. I will sometimes scroll on social media on my BF's phone because his "timelines" and videos are all different than mine. I don't like watching that type of content all the time; I have to be in the mood for it (think fighting, mma, streamer drama, etc.). Seeing that stuff ALL the time brings my mood down. That's why I don't follow that kind of stuff on my own social medias.
In the past, my bf and I would watch 🌽 separately. I realised 🌽 made me super insecure. It made me insecure because the type of 🌽 he watched always involved one or a combination of the following: BBW, Thicc, Gothic, or something else related to those. The reasoning it makes me insecure is because: 1. I'm male and ALL the 🌽 he watches has to do with specific types of women. 2. He keeps saying he identifies as gay, yet only watches straight 🌽 and picks out the women to focus on. 3. I'm not a BBW, big 🍑, or gothic. 4. I have a HUGE insecurity with myself because I'm trans. I've had people tell me they accept me, only to prove that they don't. One way was they would cheat on me with women, or they would make subtle transphobic remarks. My BF and I have talked about this and decided to stop watching it altogether. Within the last 6 months, I've realised that I'm okay with some 🌽, as long as it's animated. Or specific women aren't the focus. My BF hasn't really mentioned 🌽 at all, since I brought up being insecure.
This is where I may be the AH, but I'm not sure. I got on my BF's this morning to check on the game app we play together to see if there were any stickers we could send eachother. I noticed an interesting Reddit notification, so I clicked on it. It wasn't anything bad, just that something I thought was interesting was posted. I clicked on it, it took me to Reddit. Next thing I know, it says he's being signed in as his current Reddit account. I know of his other Reddit account, which he sometimes uses still. A month ago, he logged back into his old Reddit account to show me that he was hacked and someone was posting random NSFW content. I checked a few weeks ago, and all the NSFW content was still there. He never deleted it. I also saw that the account was following multiple NSFW and OF accounts on there too. I deleted everything, including the "Recently viewed" because I was unsure if it was him or not. Well, this time, when it logged back into his new account.. I switched it back to his old account and went to the "Recently Viewed" tab, just to find it not empty. It's filled with that same 🌽 that makes me feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I only checked it because I didn't want to believe that my BF would betray me like this previously. This just confirms it for me.
I do plan on talking to him soon. Not sure when. So yeah.. Am I the AH for snooping on my BF's phone?
(Any advice is appreciated)