How do I proceed in this situation without hurting the other’s feelings?

I (22F) have been seeing this guy (23M) for about 2-3 months now. It’s been going great and I really enjoy his company, and recently he brought up the conversation of “what are we.” My history with relationships is rocky to say the least.. I find that I’m terrible at confrontation and cannot for the life of me speak up when something is bothering me, it’s probably why I’d gradually grow resentment against the other person because they have no clue that their actions or lack thereof is affecting me. I made a pact with myself after my last “relationship” not to silence myself in fear of abandonment and to stop putting the other persons feelings/emotions above my own.

I’m just finding it really hard to in this case. One big thing I noticed about the guy I’m currently CASUALLY seeing is how dirty he is.. physically he smells fine and everything but every time I see him he has dirt under his fingernails.. I will say he’s a teacher so it could be from playing sports with his kids or maybe dry erase marker residue??? IDK. His place is also very dirty, imagine if a frat guy that’s also a youngest sibling got a place of their own.. I’m very much the opposite where I will quite literally have a mental fit if my surroundings aren’t neat. Hygiene is just very important to me and I have no clue how to mention this to him without him feeling like I’m insulting his way of living.

Another issue I’m having a dilemma with is financially, he doesn’t really offer much. He’s never taken me out to eat, the only time he’s paid for anything was my ice cream on our first date, when do hang out(usually his place) I’m bringing snacks or ingredients to make something for us to eat(then again he never asked me to do any of this), I also drive to him and he’s never offered to pay for any of my gas.. I cannot expect him to throw money at me and that’s not what I want from him, what I want from his is to atleast offer or to take that financial responsibility from time to time. My dad has and still does spoil me which is definitely why I have some unrealistic expectations from men regarding money, but what I don’t think is unrealistic of me to want is for him to take me out for literally anything..

that was a lot of blabber but essentially are these things I can communicate to him and we find a middle ground or are these deal breakers that I need to accept are a part of him?