WIBTA if I skipped my Brothers wedding?

I 37 f have a younger brother 34 M. He and his fiancee are due to be married next spring. I am so happy for him. My husband passed away 2 months ago. My brother refused to come to his funeral because my mom would be attending. My brother is NC with my mom. His reason for not coming to the funeral was to avoid issues or stressful situations. I informed him as long as everybody acted like adults. We would be fine. He still refused to come. It was my husband's funeral!! I have a five year old son with him.And I could have used my little brother's support. We have always been pretty close and always been there for each other. We do live four hours away from each other, but keep in contact as much as possible.Seeing as we both work full time, and I have children. My brother let me know the wedding date and told me to save the date. I told him I was so happy for him. I am completely NC with my father and my sister 40 f for many, many reasons, stories for another time. After my brother told me the wedding date, he then said."By the way, whether you like it or not, you have to be around family you don't want to be around." I responded, "wait a minute, you could not come to my husband's FUNERAL because you did not want to be around one person for a couple of hours, but you expect me to come to your wedding for 2 days with two people I do not speak with or have anything to do with?" The relationship between me, my father and my sister is very toxic. I can't get into it too much on here. But my sister has always been very jealous of me and has tried to put me down my entire life. Not to mention the terrible things she said to my daughter 19 about my husband after he passed. BIZZO all the way. My father, let's just say.... he is a disgusting POS. I don't even know how to explain the mental and financial damage he has caused me. Am I being oversensitive or are my feelings completely valid? Am I being too petty? How can you refuse to go to your brother-in-law's funeral? Suck it up, put on your big boy pants and be there. I'm so hurt and angry. And I don't know how to get over it. Would I be wrong for skipping his wedding?

Quick edit. My mother is a mom. She's always trying to look out for everybody else. Sometimes it seems invasive and honestly, sometimes she manipulates situations.To try and get the best result for everybody as she sees fit. They were n c for 15 years after my parents got divorced, and my mom pretty much dropped us off at my dad's house and left. He had major abandonment issues because of it. My brother let her back in, and after 2 years felt my mom was being controlling and manipulative. She probably was, honestly. Now he is NC again. He didn't want problems to start at the funeral. If my mom even spoke to him, i'm sorry that is ridiculous! Be civil for a few hours. Put on your big boy pants. It's a funeral. Not a cookout.