My mother wonders why I went no contact

I don’t have any happy memories of my mother. What I do have are memories of how she belittled me, reminded me how much of an inconvenience my needs were to her, how I was beaten for even the smallest mistakes, and how I was shamed and emotionally abused for years during my teenage years for having a boyfriend. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house unless it was for school.

I had no hobbies because my mother thought they were a waste of time. I stopped participating in dance and music because she would throw a fit about having to take me to shows. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends—they were all "bad influences," according to her. She spent so much effort trying to protect me from the outside world—yet, when I told her my uncle was sexually abusing me, she refused to believe me. Despite everything I shared, she allowed this man to visit our house for years. It wasn't until this person crossed boundaries with her that she finally chose to stop engaging with him. I was slut shamed and verbally and physically abused for years for having a boyfriend. Over time, I became a depressed and shallow person. But who cares about my pain when my mother was always the one who “had a difficult life”?

Despite everything, I found love and married a wonderful man. For the first time, I felt safe and at peace. I maintained minimal contact with my mother for a few years, but now I’m no contact.

Recently, she showed up at my home unannounced. Ever since I’ve been feeling anxious and unsettled. She put on a show in front of my in-laws—acting like the sad, abandoned mother mistreated by her daughter. She claimed she’s all alone and that I don’t call or visit her—like I abandoned her, as if she doesn’t know why I stopped talking to her.

I’ve been questioning myself since then. Have I made a mistake? Was my childhood not as bad as I remember? Am I being petty for holding on to the memories of her treatment toward me which happened a long time ago?

Is it time to forgive and move on because she’s my mother?