Question for auadhd parents with young autistic children

I'm losing my mind. I need to know how you all are dealing and coping cuz I am not. I am a single parent, who was late diagnosed with auADHD last year, and I have a 4yo who is also autistic, and his stims are the things that drive me insane. Just to clarify, I love my kid more than anything, and I feel awful that I having such a hard time, I just don't know what to do. I can't talk to allistic ppl about this cuz they dont understand and just tell me I'm a bad parent. Like the constant verbal stims on endless repeat that make my brain melt out of my eyeballs, or the constant touching, I hate being touched, and it's not sweet loving cuddles, it's I'm gonna pull on your shirt until it's all misshapen and doesn't sit correctly and evenly on you, or I'm gonna bite you, or pull your hair, or kick you, or climb you like a god damn tree. I know they sound like minor things, and they are, but it's so many of them happening all at once all day long and it never stops. I'm stuck in this loop of being overstimulated and idk how to get out of it and I'm losing my shit. I want to be able to be a better parent for him, I just don't know how. If any of you have any tips or advice I would greatly appreciate it if you could share 🙏🏻tysm!🫠🥲