Dating with AuDHD is draining and confusing

I feel like I continue to date people who claim to care about me and then do things that don’t align with how you treat someone you care about. And when I call it out, I’m the problem. I take bringing people into my life and their feelings very seriously. So it’s always so jarring when people end things so callously, like I’m disposable and I’m left trying to understand what happened/what patterns I missed. I don’t need advice but if anyone relates and you’ve been through this and then found friends/partner(s) that has made it all worth it, that’d be nice to hear. Bonus points if you have other identities (race, gender, etc) that make dating even more complicated.