I am NOT the Original Poster. That is anamariiia5. She posted in r/AITAH

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Read trigger warnings.

Trigger Warning: animal abuse; animal neglect

Mood Spoiler: Sad and anger-inducing but OOP and dog are ok

Is the dog ok: she is ok and with OOP but she is hurt

Original Post: February 3, 2025

Hello, everyone. It is my first time posting anything on here and english is not my first language. Please keep in mind I have been crying for the past 2 days, sorry for any mistakes.

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for almost 4 years. We get along okay for the most part, things like him losing something of mine HAVE happened, but never to this level.

I have had my dog, Milo (12F) for her whole life, we grew up together and it's really hard for her to get to trust other people. She has always been an anxious girl, but she is the light of my life and was always by my side even in my worst days.

3 years ago I introduced my boyfriend to my family, witch is just my mom and Milo. He and my mom got along okay, but he did not acknowledge Milo in any way, which is fine, I did not expect him to be all over her, considering she does not like that, but I still found it pretty strange because he said he absolutely LOVED dogs and to be honest, I believed that because he would always pet dogs when we were outside. Any interaction for the past 3 years with her was limited, but Milo warmed up to him, she would greet him, go to him for pets (witch he sometime gave) and accepted him on our daily walks.

1.5 years ago Milo got sick, she had a tooth infection witch was pretty bad, her whole right eye was swollen shut. I asked my boyfriend to take us to the vet, because I don't have a car. The vet took care of the infection, gave me some antibiotics to give her everyday and instruction to clean the wound that was left after the vet cleaned the puss. For a couple of weeks I did not hang out that much with my boyfriend, I took care of Milo because she was not feeling great. One thing that stood out to me was the fact that he seemed pretty pissed every time I brought her up, talking about her progress. Looking back, that should have risen some red flags, but I guess I brushed it off.

Now that I gave you the short version of the past, this is what's happening in the present:

I planned with my mom to go on a short vacation, to visit my grandparents. I was talking to my boyfriend about this trip and I told him who would take care of Milo, my best friend, Alex (23M). My boyfriend then offered to take care of her. He was mad that I did not come first to him, stating that he loves Milo and wants to go on walks with her, I reluctantly agreed, considering this "love" for her was out of the blue.

The trip was supposed to last 3 days. On day 2, I was talking with my boyfriend on the phone and he casually says that Milo really likes to stay outside. For me, this felt off, and asked him what he meant. HE LEFT MY SWEET GIRL OUTSIDE, HOURS AT THE TIME, ALONE, AND WOULD CHECK UP ON HER HOURLY!!! Mind you, I live in an apartment and I don't have a backyard. Me and my mom left as soon as I told her and we arrived back home at around 9PM. Since then, I blocked my boyfriend on everything and have been searching for my girl. I have printed posters, went out everyday for hours at a time and put her on Facebook groups around my area (if you have any advice of something more I could do, please let me know).

Now, he and his friend group say i'm an asshole because I have put my dog above my boyfriend in all of our 4 years of relationship. I know for a fact this is not true, but I don't have anyone else to ask, besides people that are really close to me and would be biased.

I am sorry for the long post, my mind is all over the place.

tl;dr: my boyfriend lost my dog, he was never close to her and is calling me an AH for breaking up with him.

Some of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: NTA This is negligence when he had responsibility to uphold. Heck, he might have done this on purpose.

OOP: This is what I am the most afraid of, he seems smart enough not to let her alone outside, considering how scared she is of everything. Thank you

Commenter: I think he did this on purpose. I would check with local veterinarians and see if he put Milo down. If he did, get a lawyer asap. I could never be with someone who had no regard for something as special as the love you have for your dog.

OOP: She is chipped, would have he been able to do that without me? I did not even consider this!

Commenter: Check all your local shelters, it feels like he's given her away and is pretending she's wandered off

OOP: That's what I did first thing in the morning! Left them my number and one of the posters to the ones that let me. Thank you

Commenter: Also, do you have any local farms, junkyards, tips or nature (camping/hiking) areas? You could drop posters off at these places to see if anyone has come across the dog... or her body (a worst case scenario I hope isn't true).

OOP: Nothing like that, I am more afraid that she has been hit by a car or attacked by other dogs. Thank you 

Commenter: Can you ask to see his car for evidence of dog hairs to see if he drove her out of area?

OOP: I doubt he would let me check and I would rather not meet up with him anymore. Even if I find her fur, I think he would still not tell me if he did something to her. Thank you

Where OOP lives:

I live in Europe. I have a group of people helping me at the moment. Thank you!

Police:

I was not sure if the police would help me, I have no proof of him doing anything "wrong", but it is worth a try. Thank you.

Commenter: Sorry for hijacking the comment, I just want you to see this. I have heard that it helps if you leave the clothes you have worn around the neighbourhood. I do not know if this is true, but at this point, I suspect you would try anything to find her

OOP: I never thought of that, i'll bring some t-shirts when I go out later today. Thank you 

Letting ex take care of the dog in the first place:

OOP: To be honest, him being mad that I did not ask him to care for Milo was very weird to me, considering the fact that he did not pay any attention to her in general. That's why he was not the first on my list! I should have trusted my gut, I feel guilty.
To another commenter:
I agree I have been naive, but he always went out of his way to pet dogs/cats when we were outside. Even if he did not like dogs, or even my dog, it would have not been a big problem for me. I did not press him to spend time with her or come on walks with us, I did not talk about her excessively, besides when she was sick and I gave him updates. This is the reason he was not the first on my list when it came to her care while I was away. Even though I found it weird that he wanted to care for her, harming her in any way was not on my mind.

Commenter: Not sure if I'm understanding this correctly. Milo wasn't in a fenced backyard, but just outside in general? No fences, no leash, no monitoring. Just put on the apartment's front law!?

OOP: Yes, you are correct, because she came back on the first day. He checked on her every hour, at least that is what he told me.

OOP clarifies:

I am sorry that it did not make sense. I was in distressed. I'll try to explain it better:
-spoke to him on the phone, he told me she was outside
-told him to get her inside
-he can't find her, but says she will come back
-I tell my mom and we leave
-we get home and he leaves my house

Comment 7 hours later:

I filed a police report today! Thank you

Filing a police report:

To be honest, they did not seem that interested about the situation. But i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Leaving clothes out:

Thank you for your time. I did leave some worn clothes in common areas and my neighbors are aware. I don't know what he wanted to achieve with this, but he for sure broke my heart. Maybe if he looked remorseful or helped me search for her we would have been in better terms, but still not together. Him knowing that she is scared, but still leaving her outside, EVEN IF SHE DID NOT LEAVE, would make me put an end to the relationship. He knows what she means to me and my mom, he knows she only feels fully comfortable in my house. It's making me go crazy that someone who I thought was my person would do such thing.

Commenter: You lost me at “we get alone okay for the most part”. The bar is so low for some of y’all 😂

OOP: (19 hours after OG post) When you are close to a situation, without an outside perspective, you might miss or brush off some things. The fact that I said "we get along okay" is because I have NOTHING NICE to say about him anymore. He has never mistreated me, spoke bad to or about me. The only thing he had a problem with, I guess, was my dog.

Update Post: February 4, 2025 (31 hours after OG post)

Hi, a lot of people asked me for an update, I should have waited until I got some rest, but you all were so helpful and you deserve to know how this ended.

I have added a tl;dr at the bottom and please excuse any mistakes, I am exhausted.

My ex came today to get his stuff, and some of you might be happy for what you are about to read, but he did not get a single thing back.

When he saw me he started begging me to forgive him and, thanks to you again, I agreed to forgive him if he told me the truth. He just looked me straight in the face and said "If I'm going to be honest, you won't forgive me". My heart broke all over again, thinking about the worst of things. When he saw me cry, he told me I should get over it because she was already old, but if I really wanted her back, I should get back with him and when he trusts me that I really forgave him, I could see her again.

I was exhausted, hopeless and angered, and even though I wanted my girl back, I could not look at him, let alone be with him for however long he thought it took me to forgive him. So he left, not telling me a single thing about Milo.

I got a call some hours hours later and on the other end was a lady who found Milo on the side of the road. She told me she would wait for me to come, because when she wanted to pick her up she seemed to be in pain.

When I got here and saw her, laying there, all my emotions flooded me. My sweet baby, even though she looked so different, was alive.

She is now staying overnight at the vet, she has 2 broken ribs and is dehydrated. If everything goes well, she will be home soon.

I appreciate each and every one of you that took the time to guide me in this nightmare. Thank you again. I will be pressing charges.

tl;dr: my baby is alive and will be home soon, I am pressing charges.

Some of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: I'm so glad Milo is OK! I had a feeling he did something horrible to her. This manis dangerous and has shown you who he is. Please be safe and never let him back into your life. This is massive stalker/sociopathic behavior.

OOP: Thank you, we will never speak again.

Commenter: Agreed I feel like he kicked her and broke her ribs and then she went away to hide.. I don’t think a car hit would’ve caused ONLY broken ribs. That ex is a POS deserves nothing in life. OP good luck, best wishes to you and Ms Milo

OOP: The vet does not think she was hit by a car! It will be on her file. Thank you.

Commenter: did you have anything recording the conversation where he was trying to blackmail you into getting back together with him? or have any of it over text? i hope to god you got it recorded somehow, he should rot

OOP: My friends recorded the whole interaction! Thank you.

Someone offers OOP financial help:

I appreciate the offer, but I can afford her care! Please donate to shelters, they need it. Thank you so much.

Publicly out him:

Me and the friends who posted on FB groups have edited the post after she was found and I made a separate post where I tagged him and his mom!

Update (Same Post): February 5, 2025 (Next day, 2 from OG post)

Last update for a while: I have pressed charges and I now have a lawyer. I unblocked my ex like some of you said and it was THE BEST THING I DID, he is incriminating himself and my lawyer believes we have chances of winning. Also, I might be able to get a protection order. His friend group has apologised. His mom is in contact with me. Milo will be home later today and she has very good chance of making a full recovery, at least phisically. My locks will be changed tomorrow.

Thank you all so much. I am sending you and your pets the warmest hugs. 🫂

For the people that wanted to see my girl: https://imgur.com/a/eOnJPAX

Some of OOP's Comments:

How is Milo doing?

She is home! She still loves to cuddle with me and does not seem scared of my male friends, but she would rather not be close to them. Thank you for asking.

To a downvoted commenter:

I would rather not say what he did text me, but they range from him hurting me physically, being sorry that he did not do more to my girl and begging me to forgive him.
Hope this answers your question.

He definitely hit Milo:

I know he hit her! He has been messaging me that he SOULD HAVE DONE MORE! He is digging his own grave and I'm so thankful for that.

OOP also posts in r/DogAdvice: February 6, 2025 (Next Day)

Hello everyone. My sweet girl is dealing with 2 broken ribs. Since she came back home, her breathing sounds weird(?). I am not sure not sure how to describe it, but it seems like she is making an effort and sometimes looks uncomfortable. Is this normal? Her next vet appointment is tomorrow. Thank you!

OOP clarifies:

She has been to a vet and she is on pain meds. Thank you!

Mini Update a few days later in comments: (not enough for a full update)

She is doing as good as she can, but she does not like being pet on the left side at all. The main injury is still her ribs, but she was burnt with a cigarette in three different places. She is not scared of males, but she would rather not be close to them.

He has not confirmed anything, his story is changing everyday, ranging from: he has lost her, hit her by mistake and she ran, hit her harder that he thought he would and got scared that I would be mad, so he left her outside and being sad that he did not do more harm to her. I can't and will not trust anything he says, but he does help me a lot buy sending me messages.

Thank you for asking.