Breakup felt like we went on a break

I've been in what you might call a 'situationship' with my best friend of 12 years for more than a year now. It's the classic situation of her getting out of an 8-year-long relationship, while at the same time both of us realizing how there have always been feelings between us. And I truly believe that — no doubts there.

The first few months were amazing, but as things became more serious, she dropped the "I need space to figure myself out" line and said how she wanted us to stay together nevertheless and make it work in the long run. She's told me how I'm the first man in her life that she's thought of having kids and a family with.

Since then, it's been a few very long and rocky months, during which we started having regular fights about our 'relationship', what it is, and how we should show up for one another. She needed more and more space and I needed more closeness and affection — something that she wasn't able to provide because she was going through a lot around her breakup, the loss of people and friends that came with it, family issues, and her general identity as a serial monogamist.

After multiple attempts to give her the space she needs, I realized that even if try to manage my reactions to situations where I don't feel a priority, I cannot manage what I feel. And what I feel is unhappiness.

After another situation like this, I told her we should break up to preserve what was there and prevent further resentment from building up. I told her my decision had nothing to do with how I felt about her. The love is still there. I still want her to be my best friend and partner, and, ultimately, I see her as someone with whom I can create a family. In response, she told me that she loves me, too, that she also wants what I want, but our recent fights have not helped it become a reality.

In the end, she said, "We're doing this for us, you know that, right?", "Don't question what I feel for you!", etc. We both want this to work out, but it's not the right time.

Now I feel like I'm entering a waiting mode. But if she ever returns, it might be after 3 months or a year. Should I keep in touch, should I go no contact, should I treat it as a breakup and forget about the possibility of her coming back? It's super difficult to navigate this because she was also my best friend and I miss her a lot.