Troubled with the idea of Death

Hi all, I'm once again seeking solace from this subreddit, which I have to say is quite a blessing to have y'all here, thank you.

But recently, I've been watching YouTube videos of history, and something just struck me. All my life, I've been surrounded by lots of death, from friends who've committed suicides, relatives passing on and other unfortunate accidents.

I then wonder, what is it like now for them? Like, what do they see, hear, smell or even think. What is the consciousness, is it really just a bunch of electricity produced by neorons that create what we are? Like, to be made conscious by atoms, things that literally make EVERYTHING...do these electrical patterns really make us alive?

Then the idea that there might be nothing on the otherside... imagine closing your eyes to nothing, it boggles me that it could be a reality that there could really be nothing on the otherside...the idea of no longer existing really just blows my mind, like what does it feel like to feel nothing or to literally BE NOTHING.

I've been pondering my own existence like this for the past few days and ngl, it kind of sucks and I wish I could stop thinking so deep...but as a poet and novelist. Many philosophers and even Buddha have said to live in the moment and that nothing is permanent, but that in it of itself, it really does make me realize how much more wisdom I have to seek before truly understanding the human mind.

If anyone has any thoughts on this please do share or if there is proof of an afterlife, what is your proof?