Desperate for a relationship with my family

My immediate family sucked a lot growing up and I hate them so much for it. I'm sure plenty of yall understand what I'm trying to say. But I am so desperate for a relationship with them because they are ,my blood relatives (and also have money i could inherit), and are also some of the only people who somewhat understand my experiences? like i hate my sibling for how they abused me but nobody else knows what it was like to have out two abusive gay dads. I hate my abusive gay dads, but no other family i knows understands what it was like to be a queer immigrant family .

i want a relationship with them so bad, especially now that things are getitng very very bad for queer people. the hardest thing to get over is my hate for them