As a public health initiative, at birth all people should have an image, depicted rearing to attack, of a gigantic, anatomically correct, full colour, fatally venomed spider, tattooed prominently onto their face.

Apart from being a really cool looking, free starter image in the international hobby of self-decoration, this genius level idea should serve as a deterrent defense mechanism against hungry mosquitos or other flying, disease spreading insects otherwise seeking to feast upon our precious human blood.

If it needs explaining, the idea is that on identifying from the air no longer, us easy meal tickets, strolling along below undefended and waiting to be slurped upon and left itchy in the late morning sunshine, instead, these vile little nosferati will be immediately repelled at the hideously fearful sight of their number one predator, the viciously dangerous and clearly hungry venom dripping spider, carefully waiting upon each human face in the vast crowd of upward looking, fist waving people below, thus sending 'Stingy', 'Bitey', 'Itchy Antennae Plungey' and their infinitesimally numbered gang of nasty pals and progenitors, quickly retreating off into the clouds of vapour to hungrily wither away into a pile of ashen, plasma and iron starved skeletons with cheap novelty Halloween wings still attached, like some massive dose of LSD spiked trick or treater, formerly believing themselves more than capable of flight and now resting on rubble at the base of the cliff edge over at Old McGinty's disused quarry along with these unwelcome bloodsuckers and each and every one of their filthy, parasitic, blood born diseases too!