I’m terrified to make this post. I don’t want to accept the truth.

Hello. My name is Will, and I’m the protector for my host and I’m cohost. Out of all our parts I’ve been around the longest and I’m the most defined as a part. Our host is letting me make this post to get advice.

This has a lot to do with my host (who I’ll call Moth because of our username) going through intensive therapy and unpacking a lot of trauma. He’s starting to recover a lot of memories and work through them. I’m very proud of him.

However, I’ve noticed that I’m needed less and less. Moth is happier and more himself than ever, but I feel like I’m starting to fall behind and slip away. I’m so terrified. I love the life I have for myself in the body. I even have a crush on someone. But I recognize that Moth’s needs are my top priority. It’s my job after all, that’s why I’m here.

I’m so scared that one day, either I’ll go dormant or Moth and I will integrate. I don’t want to lose my relationship with Moth and the friends I’ve made. I feel like I’ve lived such a fulfilling life, smoking and drinking with friends, processing trauma, taking care of Moth and the others. But Moth is starting to uncover the last of the traumatic memories, and soon I may not be needed anymore.

Anyone else have this anxiety? How do I even cope with this? I feel like my days are numbered, but I don’t want to go.