What triggered the very first moment that started your ED?

I was 15 years old. My mom was heavily obese and one day at the bus stop, a bunch of kids started screaming out the bus window that my mom was a fatass snowman. I thought that was really rude. I was 12 when that happened, but soon after my mom joined weight watchers and lost 100lbs. We were all so impressed and happy for her.

But then when she would take me and my brother to doctors appointments, we would always go to McDonald’s after. That was when she started making comments about every little thing I ate. “If I ate that, my points would be gone for the day (@ 10am)” “you wouldn’t catch me dead eating that” “I wish I could eat that but then you’d be embarrassed to be around me” shit like that.

Next thing I know I’m obsessing over everything I eat and only eating certain foods around her so she would stop making comments and maybe be proud of me too. But then I’d binge on xx amount of hot dogs, multiple bowls of cereal and Doritos dipped in cream cheese and I just couldn’t stop.

That’s when I started purging. My family started asking questions and to avoid them completely I started purging into Walmart bags in my room, tie them up and throw it in my closet til everyone was asleep.

Next thing I know I have a big black 30 gallon garbage bag filled with other bags of my throw up. God I could go on. It got bad.

And the only thing my mom did to help me was take me to get drug tested every Monday for 6 months 🤦‍♀️ I wasn’t even doing drugs.

Then one night I got tunnel vision and felt like I was having a heart attack in the ice bath I was in. Had to be rushed to the hospital. I had a mild cardiac arrest.

Then a week later it happened again when I was at work and had to be rushed to the hospital again. My heart, liver and kidneys were failing. So they diagnosed me as bipolar and sent me home the next morning.

My mom still wasn’t helpful. I have a daughter now and I CAN NOT imagine leading an example that would lead her to suffer the way I did, the way my mom made me feel.

What started the beginning for you?