Cried over Oreos today

I'm in the worst relapse I've ever been in. I'm on a wait list for treatment, but waiting has been difficult and I've just been getting worse. I have a bad sugar addiction that honestly just gets worse when I restrict. And that makes me feel like I need to restrict more to compensate so I can still enjoy my sweet treats. But recently I've been restricting more heavily than I ever have before and I just can't seem to get out of the restriction cycle.

My partner bought some Oreos at the store the other day and I've been avoiding them like the plague. But today I was craving them really bad so I decided to check the nutrition label before eating them to see how many I could get away with having. When I saw the label I just started crying. I've been disordered for a little while now, but I've never full on sobbed over food before. I feel like I'm going crazy :(