They don’t tell you how low you’ll feel on the totem pole after marriage and kids.

Hey Fellas,

Looking to see if anyone else is feeling the way I am and advice you have. I (35m) have been married to my wife (30f) for 3 years now, together for 6 years. We have two kids. One is 2 and the other is currently just a few weeks old. I know that honeymoon phases wear off and kids require a ton of extra mental and physical work but I’ve never felt so low in my life than I’ve felt in the past couple of days. My wife and I haven’t been intimate since the conception of our youngest child and I don’t foresee us being intimate anytime soon. We don’t kiss, don’t hug, we really don’t talk. We talk if something needs to get done or if we are fighting. I’ve tried to kiss my wife and hug her but she doesn’t know how to receive affection. I usually get rejected or leave feeling rejected. She’s openly admitted she doesn’t know how to be affectionate but I don’t know how to honestly help with that other than trying myself which doesn’t work. We both parent very well together and enjoy our kids. However, outside of that we give almost no time to each other. I am afraid to bring things up to her as she gets upset very easily at times and she doesn’t ever apologize after a fight, ever. I am always the one that has to apologize or bring up some way to resolve the issue or we just won’t talk to for days(This has happened times in the past). I work a full time job and started my own small business as well to supplement our income. On top of that, I do all the cooking, 95% of the cleaning, all the laundry, all the dishes, and anything regarding house upkeep and landscaping upkeep. I.e. cutting the grass, taking trash out, fixing stuff with the house, etc.. my wife does a fantastic job planning stuff for the kids and making sure they have everything they need. I will give her that. She is always on top of that. Long story short, she gets mad at me because she feels I don’t research enough about how to parent or that I’m constantly doing things and trying to escape the house. I am literally home all the time, if I’m not home, I’m working or getting groceries or picking up dinner. That’s about it. I just feel so unappreciated and so unloved right now. I tried to cry in the shower today but I literally couldn’t cry. I feel that emotionally closed off right now. Anyone else feel like they are working like crazy at home and in their job and still being unloved and yelled at?

TLDR: Working two jobs, doing almost all the work at home, still feeling unloved, no affection, and constantly getting told what to do or yelled at.