I was the bullet that killed John Lennon

So i took 3 tabs around 8 pm a few weeks ago and smoked weed and by the time i was coming up i began to watch the Yesterday Beatles movie. I relived John Lennons assasination many times and felt panicked like i would never be able to get out. i started screaming in a desperate attempt to return to reality and that’s when my mom came into my room and called the cops. they took me to the ER ona. stretcher and overall it was a really bad experience. my mom said no LSD again. the problem is, the whole thing didn’t really turn me off to the drug. I go off to college in less than a year and still have some tabs left. I don’t want to trip behind my moms back, i’m pretty sure she would find out but i still want to do it again. what should i do?