Mirtazapine is making me loose touch with reality. AMA

I just woke up. It is currently 05:20 am. I haven’t taken Mirtazapine in 10 days. Currently I’m barely coherent but my dreams are making me sick to my stomach. I was originally prescribed Remeron for general mood, sleep and diet.
The first 2-3 weeks were extremely nauseous with heavy hallucinations and hunger, right before bed.

The only unpleasant side effects at the 12th month of regular prescription is the dreams. My dreams have created unexplainable horrors every night a dream occurs. (If you would like a visual representation look up “2CP trip” then search images) if it wasn’t for these dreams the medications works perfectly and otherwise I sleep like a baby.

Between the ages of 16 and 19 I was using MDMA or LSD every weekend if not together. On top of regular cannabis usage every 3-4 days since 2016. (Current age is 24) Originally I believe my doctor thought Mirtazapine would be the best option between Zoloft, Quetiapine & itself.

I have an inclination substance use is continuing to give the negative side effects.

Every night one of these Super-ultra-mega nightmares occurs and I wake up in fear and discomfort. Even the sound of a table creaking can set off extreme anxiety after one of these dreams.

It’s getting out of hand and I would like to go back to my original self medication. (cannabis) I didn’t have any dreams between 16 - 19 so maybe that’s a factor too. I’ve heard years without dreams can cause a flood gate effect.

If anyone has any professional advice please let my know. The dreams are still 1/4 of nights since I stopped taking Mirtazapine. I am going to sleep and waking up in fear most nights out of fear of these vivid nightmares.

I’ve had nightmares as a young child, before cannabis usage but never as vivid, long or terrifying. There is also something artificial about the Remeron dreams. They last for so long.. (1 long dream though out the night.) as oppose to 10 or so vivid episodes))

I don’t know what to do please help. Are there any other medication that work treating similar conditions? (Other than cannabis) please I’m waking up every early AM in fear. I need a more consistent mood stabiliser regardless.

Thank you.