Dropped the baby.

First time mum to a 6 month old, I can be quite an anxious mum about some things as it is.

I was getting me and baby ready for feeding the horses and like I always do I popped a cosy snowsuit and hat on her, and got her in the baby carrier. As I was clicking the straps to the baby carrier in the left side, baby fell out of the carrier on the right side. Head first, face down onto the grass!!! I scooped her up and she must have got a fright and was screaming, I panicked I didn’t know what to do so I quickly got her in her car seat and drove as fast and safely as I could to A&E which is a 45 minute drive, that was the worst drive of my life. She was crying for the first 10 minutes and then just silence, she had just fell asleep but in my head she was dying.

By the time we got to A&E we were let straight in, the baby was smiling and laughing at the nurse that saw us. Meanwhile I’m almost having a panic attack just from the sheer shock of it. Not a scratch, not a bump. Baby is absolutely fine, her normal self. I’ve got her obs sock on her for sleeping tonight just in case! And I’ll no doubt not sleep for checking on her.

No doubt we will be back to A&E at some point in her younger years. But I can’t shake this horrible feeling of being a shit mum for being complacent with the baby carrier, and I can’t stop seeing her facedown on the ground in the her little snowsuit! 😭 I genuinely believe the snowsuit and hat padded her fall!

Im sure we will laugh about this one day! But today I will cry and give her soo many cuddles, I couldn’t imagine losing her.

Edit to add : thank you everyone for the response, it’s really helped clear my mind on the situation and reading others experiences has been helpful and also funny with some of the comments! ☺️