A new viewpoint

So according to the philosopher Kant your motivations can be divided into two categories.

ends- What you genuinely want, not because you like the results it gives but you like it itself.

means- Whatever you do to achieve ends. You might not enjoy means itself but you like the results.

According to Kant, it is immoral to use someone else as means, including you. It is unethical to use yourself as means to achieve your ends.

Analyzing my desires, I am worried whether my desire to be a girl is 'ends' or 'means'.
I worry if I am fooling myself and other that I am a woman to achieve something else which is the true 'end'. Might be wanting to escape toxic masculinity, might be fetishes. I am still searching what~