The most logical answer.

I must have logically and subconsciously come to the decision that women are simply better than men, female role is more important that men, men are expected and must respect women, no matter what men will never get the same respect or care women get and subconsciously wanted to escape from this reality and wanted to be a woman.

My fetishes and my insecurity that I am taking advantage of being a man due to privileges and biological reasons joined up to give the illusion that I am trans.