My MTF Girlfriend Keeps Comparing Herself to Other Trans Girls, and Her Dysphoria Is Getting Worse Every Day

Hi, I’m writing this thread to seek advice for both my girlfriend and myself. We’re a T4T (MTF/MTF) couple, and lately, I’ve noticed that her relationship with her body image has become really challenging for both of us. She spends a lot of time comparing herself to other trans girls online, analyzing things like who has smaller shoulders or who looks “more feminine.” She constantly asks for my opinion on these topics, and while I want to support her, I feel like this isn’t helping her in the long run.

Sometimes I feel like, deep down, she knows that seeking other people’s (including my) opinions about her body only makes her dysphoria worse instead of helping her. This really worries me because it seems like a cycle that’s hurting her and also affecting our dynamic. Lately, I’ve even started to feel like some of her dysphoria is being passed on to me—now I find myself focusing on parts of my own body I never thought about or felt insecure about before. This is not only taking a toll on me emotionally, but it’s also creating tension in our relationship because it feels like we’re both stuck in a loop of constant comparison and self-criticism.

I don’t want her to feel like I’m invalidating her or ignoring her struggle, but I also don’t know how to help her break out of this pattern without making her feel alone or misunderstood. I love her so much and want to be there for her, but I also need to protect my own mental health.

I love my girlfriend, and I want her to enjoy the little things in life more. I think it’s important to sometimes try to ignore dysphoria, even though I know it’s not always possible. I just want to help her reconnect with the positive things in life and live more peacefully.

Has anyone gone through something similar or has advice on how to deal with this kind of situation?