Napanaginipan ko yung studyante ko and now I don't want to see him again

Kakagising ko lang and wala akong kayang pagkwentuhan nito in my real life. For context, lahat halos ng panaginip ko na naaalala ko vinovoice record ko sa jowa ko or sa friends ko. Not this one.

I feel distraught and disgusted with myself right now. I (30F) dreamt of one my of students (17M) and we were lying in bed together daw and he was asking me to give him a chance romantically, I was so so tempted to say yes daw in my dream but I still said no. He said to not explain why I'm rejecting him na and give him the dignity of a man and I said that's the thing, I'm so scared because I feel things for you that I would feel for a man, but you're a boy.

I feel so sick. Without giving too much away, pero there was even a point in one of my classes that I drilled onto all my students how grooming works and that it happens even to boys, and they should be wary of it and older people "flirting" with them. I so vividly remember his face staring at me and absorbing what I was teaching tapos tangina ginugroom ko sya sa panaginip ko.

The worst part is may residue nung feelings ko for him in my dream ngayon sa waking life ko. I'm so scared of what this means, and I'm so mad at myself kasi feeling ko danger ako sa bata

I'm so heartbroken. I see my students as my kids, my responsibility. I feel like I'm forsaking that. I feel ill