Ang unfair ng mundo

Last 2021, nadiagnose mom ko ng stage 2 breast cancer, which was a huge shock to us kasi wala naman sa family namin merong cancer. So she had to go through extensive treatment, and at that time I hated God, as in. I stayed away from the whole religion thing kasi inisip ko, bakit nanay ko? Out of all the bad people in the planet or country, bakit nanay ko pa yung nadamay?

Fast forward to 2023, her cancer progressed to stage 4, metastasized to her lungs. May nakita na mga bukol sa lobes ng lung nya so she had to go through treatment ulit, at the same time inoperahan rin sya sa thyroid because of hypothyroidism, oh diba dumami pa. She's still taking her maintenance meds na costs over 50,000 pesos a month dito sa Pinas, buti nalang may nahanap ako sa India wherein we can buy the medicine for only less than 20,000 pesos. Grabe rin pala tubo dito sa pinas noh. Nakakainis rin na nauubusan ng free chemo drugs ang patients sa mga probinsya dahil sa bidding system ng Philhealth na yan jusko.

Beginning this year, lumala condition ng mom ko. Nagkaroon sya ng vocal cord paralysis kasi may nagsusuppress sa nerve nya na lymph node, pero for confirmation pa. Ngayon, sumasakit na rin yung hips nya and I hoping and praying na hindi nagmetastasize sa bones yung cancer. Ang hirap kasi patapos palang ako ng college at ako pa eldest. Bunso namin is only 7 years old, need pa nya ng guidance ng mom namin.

What broke my heart today was her message to me: "Ilove you all so much, ikaw ang maging nanay ng mga kapatid mo kapag nawala ako ah"

I just want our lives to be normal again. Hay, buhay nga naman.