depressed over pr being in a relationship

i’ve been in denial about it for a couple months, but it’s basically impossible for me to deny now that my pr is in a relationship. i’m feeling so depressed and anxious about this right now and i really wish it wasn’t affecting me so badly. he’s all i think about and i always imagine being in a relationship with him, so the idea of him being with someone else is so painful.

i try to tell myself that it won’t last forever and they will probably break up eventually, but i know this is basically just more denial and not the best way for me to cope with this. i spend way too much time checking up on him on different social medias, so i’m trying to do less of that and distract myself with other things.

however, i really don’t want to give up on my fantasies of him because they are so comforting to me and i still love him so much. i can’t stop myself from believing we will meet someday and have the chance to be together. i know deep down that this is unrealistic, but i can’t think about that because i want him so much. i know i idealize him a lot and he probably isn’t the person i imagine him to be in real life, but i can’t help loving him so much anyway.

i just needed to vent, i guess. i unfollowed his probable gf and turned off post alerts so i can think about them less. hopefully in time i can move on from this and find someone in real life to care about.