Helping our 9yo with friendships – is there any point?

Our 9yo daughter was recently diagnosed with combined-type ADHD, though we've basically known she has ADHD for years. She does well academically, but it's becoming increasingly clear that she is incapable of keeping friendships (primarily with NT kids). She's bossy, often has a negative tone, gets super hyper and weird, makes up things that aren't true, tries to be funny but isn't, and is incapable of having conversations. This year in particular it's become clear that the majority of girls in the class (the NT ones) just don't like her, and most friends we've met in town go silent after 1 or 2 playdates. She has a single friend at school who also has ADHD, although they get in conflicts several times per week, and their weird hyperactive behavior makes them even more socially outcast.

We have coached her using every friendship book out there, openly discussed friendship problems, hosted many play dates with clear suggestions/guidelines on things to work on, all to no avail. No matter how explicit we are ahead of time about things she should work on, she goes right back to being bossy, inflexible, and hyperactive. Literally no amount of motivation changes this, and it's impossible to do positive reinforcement since there will literally be almost nothing to reinforce. We have to monitor her play dates like a hawk and often step in to nudge her in the right direction. Yet, most kids who come over never reciprocate, or if they do, it only happens once.

We're meeting with a psychiatrist in a month to explore meds, but in the meantime, it feels like no amount of coaching, practicing, etc. will make one iota of difference. She knows all the right answers to social and friendship situations ahead of time, but when it comes down to it, her ADHD brain is incapable of doing those things. Should we stop coaching and just let it be? Looking for some advice.