To look or not to look?

I'm at odds here.... There such a spectrum of Sleep Token fans in finding out the identities of the band members. Some staunchly refuse to even speak about the concept of the band members' possible identities, and some actively judge others for trying to keep the mystery alive. I know it is easily found now, if I wanted to know their name and faces, I could find them in minutes, but... Is it worth it?

It's not so much about the ethics of it for me, but more so about ruining the magic. I know the band wants to stay anonymous and so a small part of me feels bad about searching for the info, but I also know I'm not going to discuss it or share anything about it, it would just be for me. Obviously people already know so it's not as important, but like, a lot of people don't know and don't want to know so I intentionally don't interact with that content.

Moreso... Is it worth knowing? I ache to know, I really love this band and knowing what they look like would be so... I dunno, cool? Exciting? I'm AuDHD and tend to become VERY obsessed when I found something I actually like- along with the people associated with it, but I'm also not 16 anymore and don't think I have some sort of parasocial relationship with these random British men lol. It's more that I don't know if it's worth ruining the illusion, you know? I'm just stuck.

Part of me wants to know the people that makes this collective tick, even if just through pictures and names and stories from others, but another part doesn't want to lose the fantasy. When they're masked and anonymous, I can imagine it's anyone and that they are everything I'd hope they'd be as humans. In a lot of ways it's fun to put them on a pedestal. However, that's also not realistic.

I'm aware it's just a band and to many it sounds like I'm putting way too much stock into all of this, but this band has been giving me the dopamine I've desperately needed for the past month and a half, especially now that it's winter. They've become really special to me and their music is just SO good.

I guess this might be question better suited for other ND people who have obsessive tendencies. Did finding out their identities ruin the fun for you? Did it make it less exciting or did you feel more connected and/or calm regarding the band? Do you wish you hadn't found out, glad you did, or don't really care either way?

(I will say, I've seen glimpses of faces and names on accident but have essentially been gaslighting myself into forgetting them 😂💀 shout out to autistic face blindness 🤪)

Update (2/20/24): I did it, I looked! I'm glad I did it but I'm also glad I waited as long as I did. They really are just a bunch of guys and I love that. II has always been my favorite and honestly looking and seeing some of his previous work has just reinforced that for me. He's so fucking talented (and cute 🤭👀)!