Please help idk how to decide whether I should keep going

[Trigger warning - a lot of "Woe is me" ahead]

I (23m) just started doing standup in late December and I'm lost. I've done 11 open mics and bombed one of them; had audience members come up to me after to compliment me; been told by seasoned comedians I'm good and have potential; blah blah blah I feel like I'm sucking my own dick at this point but I feel it's relevant.

So wtf is my problem? Because for some reason I feel like doing standup is just making me miserable. The first time was a rush and I did well. I mostly do well. When I do really well I feel nothing after and bombing feels no different. I believe if you don't love something you shouldn't keep doing it but if someone told me to stop doing standup I'd be like "no, fuck you" for some undicipherable reason. It's not even something I do because I want to it feels more like I'm an addict who doesn't use for the high but in order to feel normal? Just something in me that forces me into it??

How do you feel after a set? Is it supposed to feel good? How do you know whether you should keep going? Does anyone relate??? Idk what to do please help