Maladaptive daydreaming is the only thing keeping me going.

Any time I step back into my own mind and life I am overcome with the need to die. I keep the pistol loaded under my pillow.

At this point I am spending virtually every waking hour in maladaptive daydreaming. I have completely cut off my job, school, and family - just pace back and forth listening to music and imagining a different reality. It's the only thing keeping me alive.

Any other severe maladaptive daydreamers here?