Tattoo Regret and Deep Depression
Hi all.
I got a big tattoo last Sunday on the back of my neck and I just instantly regretted it. To be fair, It does actually mean something. It is a Filipino tribal family piece, but I wish I placed it somewhere else. I hate that it’s so visible. I hate that it’s so big. I hate that it just makes me not feel like myself anymore when the meaning of it was supposed to do the exact opposite. I always felt like I was a somewhat good looking guy, but now I feel so unattractive and ugly. I feel so depressed, I cannot eat. Sleep. Work. The anxiety I created for myself is ridiculous. I have to work in order to make money and keep my job. I have to put on this show and song and dance, since I am in sales, but the dark deep depression is there. If i don’t perform at work, I get fired. I need this job because me and my son are also moving this month. (I’m going thru a separation, but that has no bearing on my feeling. It truly is the tattoo that is causing my depression) I feel like an idiot for ruining my body. I’m not too worried about tattoo removal, I have had plenty done before (on an upper arm half sleeve, and my wrists), but I am worried about scarring (I have had some scars and marks from previous sessions, all from accredited places). All I know is that I am depressed. Sad. Broken. 2024 has just been rough on me and I cannot feel like I can get through this. This tattoo was just so bad placement and bad decision making for a someone in their late 30’s who should have his stuff together. I’m in a dark place right now and don’t know where to turn.
Hi all.
I got a big tattoo last Sunday on the back of my neck and I just instantly regretted it. To be fair, It does actually mean something. It is a Filipino tribal family piece, but I wish I placed it somewhere else. I hate that it’s so visible. I hate that it’s so big. I hate that it just makes me not feel like myself anymore when the meaning of it was supposed to do the exact opposite. I always felt like I was a somewhat good looking guy, but now I feel so unattractive and ugly. I feel so depressed, I cannot eat. Sleep. Work. The anxiety I created for myself is ridiculous. I have to work in order to make money and keep my job. I have to put on this show and song and dance, since I am in sales, but the dark deep depression is there. If i don’t perform at work, I get fired. I need this job because me and my son are also moving this month. (I’m going thru a separation, but that has no bearing on my feeling. It truly is the tattoo that is causing my depression) I feel like an idiot for ruining my body. I’m not too worried about tattoo removal, I have had plenty done before (on an upper arm half sleeve, and my wrists), but I am worried about scarring (I have had some scars and marks from previous sessions, all from accredited places). All I know is that I am depressed. Sad. Broken. 2024 has just been rough on me and I cannot feel like I can get through this. This tattoo was just so bad placement and bad decision making for a someone in their late 30’s who should have his stuff together. I’m in a dark place right now and don’t know where to turn.