Need advice . Getting this lasered once it heals

I got this in Bali and I’ve been left devastated. It looks nothing like what I asked for (third pic was my inspo) and the shading Is just horrible. I never wanted a big tattoo like this but when he initially finished the job I really wasn’t happy with it and asked him to fix it. The more he “fixed it” the more it got bigger and worse. I’m so depressed and right now my only option is to laser it off. I would love to hear stories on big black tattoos similar to mine and your experience getting it lasered. I just need advice, I’m so lost over this, it’s come to the point where all I do is sleep, I can’t work, I can’t eat, I can’t focus. 😭