I found out what I did to someone while blacked out

I (16f) got black out drunk for the first time with my friend (17f) who I had a crush on and was in the talking stage with for about a week.

We drank Tequila shots and I could not remember any of the events past my third shot. The only part of that day which I remember was suddenly lapsing into consciousness very late at night and asking what had happened as we were walking home together. I was told by her: “you tried to fuck me multiple times” but I was too out of it to comprehend or ask what exactly that meant. We kissed before parting ways and I stumbled home.

The morning after, I received a text from her explaining how she likes me but does not want to be in a relationship due to her mental instability and would prefer for us to stay as just friends. I asked some questions and eventually accepted it.

I asked what happened last night and what exactly she meant by what she said because there was a five hour gap in my memory. I was told that we were making out, I drank the entire bottle, and that I kept grabbing her breasts. I apologized for what I did and she told me it was fine.

At first our friendship was great but slowly I noticed she was becoming a lot more distant and aloof towards me. Then one morning, about 3 weeks after the incident, I was suddenly blocked out of the blue on every platform. I had no idea why so I decided to ask her friend and I was told that she had a good reason to block me and that he will be doing the same from today onwards. I kept asking what it was about and he eventually told me it was something I did the night we got drunk.

When I came home I realized another friend of mine had blocked me so I messaged him through another account and asked if I’d done something wrong. He told me that I sexually assaulted someone and to never talk to him again. The next day I decided to explain the situation to another friend and I asked her to help me message the friend who blocked me to ask what exactly happened in details because I felt incredibly awful for what I did and really wanted to apologize but I couldn’t do so sincerely if I did not know what I’ve done.

My friend told me that the friend who blocked me sent screenshots of what the girl said and that the gist of it was that I forced drinks down her throat, kept forcing her to make out with me, and repeatedly said I was going to fuck her. I had no idea any of this went down until today and I really don’t know how I can live with myself knowing how much trauma I had caused someone.

I already swore to never drink near anyone else ever again but I’m lost on whether or not I should apologize. I already wrote my apology but my friends are all telling me that she does not want to hear from me and that it will not make things any better but I also feel that if I simply leave it, I am not taking accountability for my actions and the hurt I’ve caused her.

Edit: I am female and bisexual, please stop referring to me as “he”.