Please help- miscarriage - anxiety ++++

Hi all, Thanks so much for this thread, it has been super helpful and compassionate.

I am super anxious and worried and it is affecting my life.

Backstory: I have anxiety and ocd and it has always been about fertility specifically. This is on the background of always wanting kids, trying to freeze my eggs at age 34 and I didn’t respond to the drugs. Cue ocd response and I was fixated on my cycle : ovulation etc.

Fast forward, I became pregnant (not planned) spontaneously at age 37 and had her in October last year. I then again became pregnant at age 38 in May this year (I turned 38 before she was born). This pregnancy again was not planned. I miscarried slowly (first naturally, then tried the meds then needed a d and c). The d and c was on 7th of August. From the date I found out that I was probably going to miscarry (6th July) to eventual d and c was one month. My ocd obsessions then started up again around my cycle. I had so much (what looked like) egg white discharge and then got the tiniest amount of red blood for three days, which I don’t know what that was about. That started about 25 days post d and c. It was also a day after a speculum exam due to increased discharge post d and c. I’ve since had some egg white discharge but now I’m dry. My GP thinks it may have been a very light period but we aren’t sure.

My ocd thoughts, obsessions and compulsions are off the charts. My psychiatrist is out of town so I haven’t been able to see her. I’m worried that l never get a period again (I know it’s probably not logical) as I want another baby eventually. My periods have always been like clockwork. I’m going crazy so I’m asking for