I’m sorry

There’s no way I can say I’m sorry in a way you deserve, in a way I deserve.

I blocked myself off, I became little less than a wall. I stopped engaging, stopped initiating, stopped showing up. I want to say I couldn’t do it, but now that I feel better, I’d rather refer to it as me not being capable of doing it, which could be seen outwardly as me not being willing, which I wouldn’t deny.

I question if I was being too selfish or just selfish enough. Either way, I wasn’t present… mentally at first, and physically near the end. I’m sorry that I let us both down. I did, I let us down. I never stopped loving you or thinking of you as one of the purest loves within my life, a friend I’ll never forget.