I'm giving up on finding someone

All because I'm asexual. Nobody wants a sexless relationship and I've come to terms with it. But it does make me upset often still.

My asexuality has been the deal breaker for all of my past relationships and the ones I would've possibly had. All because everyone wants cheap easy stupid fucking sex. Sex this, sex that, it's fucking everywhere and is so overrated and I'm sick of it.

Why is it too much to ask for someone to have a genuine connection with? I prefer emotional connection other than physical. I can't even count the amount of people who feel the same way on one hand because there are none!

"You should just try it" "you need to get out of your comfort zone" "how do you know you don't like it" SHUT THE FUCK UP

I hate it because it's fucking everywhere and I can't be aroused. I just fucking can't. I've never been aroused, nothing my past partners did would make me aroused, intimate touch feels so fucking gross to me. I've been touched and pushed and lied to and coerced.

I don't want to hate myself because of it but I'm getting close to and I hate it. I'm tired of feeling so alone. I was just over exaggerating, I know there are people like me. I just wish I could meet someone like that in person instead of online. I'm just so tired of trying to find someone that I'm just going to give up.