Medications that don’t make you lose your “sparkle”?

Hey, does anybody have a really good medication recommendation that didn’t make them lose themselves?

When I first started, I was taking the generic of Concerta or Ridellan and that was fine. We had to have the dosage a couple times but I was just a little bland and not well allowed my feelings I guess. I was a little less enthusiastic and imaginative.

I switched to concerta brand name for a year and that worked decently, but I still felt kind of lacking in the emotions part except for crying a decent amount, but that might be linked to a lot of my grandparents passing in grief.

I’m in therapy and have been for like eight years now so I’m working with the other stuff with my therapist . But I’ve started going on. I only take meds when you need them stringent as they’ve switched me back to generic. The generic doesn’t seem to work as well, and depending on the manufacturer can trigger really bad panic attacks for me.

I have grad school next year, which I know I’m probably gonna be meds to go through, but I feel like I could build my habit now and I have a whole year to work and try and force myself to cope without them . I just don’t wanna lose my sparkle again. Any suggestions?