I'm so confused. Help an inexperienced girl out, please....
My first AP is the second guy I've had sex with. He is one of the first guys I met off Reddit and I couldn’t believe the sexual chemistry we had. Every time we met he left me feeling sexy, confident and like the whore I wanted to be. My SO has never made me feel like he has in the 10+ years we have been together. AP and I dated for over a year but the last 5 months we were unable to find the time to see each other.
I started seeing other people and these other guys were able to keep contact way better than AP, so I told him to stop texting me for awhile just so I could get my head out of my ass when it came to him. He really sucks at making me feel cared about over text, I kind of suck at texting too so that’s why I waited around for so long. I really just wanted someone to meet on a regular basis.
It’s been about a month of NC and I have since slept with two other guys. There is no comparison with first AP. I like the attention and responsiveness of the other guys but the sex is just meh with both of them.
Do I go crawling back to first AP? I still don’t know when we would find the time to see each other so I know that’s not really going to accomplish much unless one of our schedules change.
Do I keep trying my chances with other men? I don’t really want to keep racking up my body count, I was completely satisfied with my SO being my one and only for so long I don’t necessarily like the idea of having sex with a lot of different men. But maybe I just suck it up and keep trying??
Should I just stop affair life entirely for awhile? This I am less inclined to do because I really do enjoy the excitement all of this brings but also I would be so royally screwed if I got caught.
How do I ensure before having sex with a guy that he will be the same as my first AP? I’m left here thinking how fucking lucky it was to find my first AP, I thought it would be so easy to recreate what we had and I’m just sad it’s not that easy. I just want to find someone who matches the sexual chemistry, I don’t even need to text with them every day, just meet up on a regular basis and set aside a tiny bit of time at the end of meetups to talk about our lives. That’s it. I wish I had more of a slut phase when I was younger cause it would make these decisions easier now. Plus I cannot talk about this with my friends so I am coming to you people for some help.