This situation is difficult sometimes

Hi! Just writing to get my thoughts out to people who understand because I can’t talk to anyone else.

My AP and I have an amazing relationship and everything is wonderful right now. We had a meet-up yesterday which was incredible, but today I’m just feeling so sad and lonely. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man but knowing that I can’t truly “have” him makes me so sad.

We plan to do this for however long we can, but how long can one sustain the stress that comes with being in love with someone they can never be with? He confessed his love for me in November, and I am in love with him. We meet about once a month, twice if we are lucky.

Lately, the time in between meetups have been so difficult for me. Saying goodbye to him has brought me to tears. I try and hide how difficult it is because I don’t want him to feel bad.

So many different emotions running through my mind. I work full time and have hobbies, so keeping busy is not an issue. With that being said, how do you all navigate these feelings of longing for your AP in between seeing each other, but also knowing you can never be together-together?