WIBW if I report my grandfather and cousin snap benefit fraud after he denied helping my family

Sorry for the long post. I know the title sounds petty.

I (35 Female) has been no contact with my cousin (45 female) for many years after constant berating and bullying my whole entire young life. For context on how much of a POS she is: she he doesn’t have a job, has three kids from different fathers (hid ALL 3 pregnancies in different stages of her life), she financially takes advantage of my grandfather (85 years old) more recently he has given her 2 brand new cars, even when he can’t afford life. Her and her sibling have always been my grandfathers golden grandchildren, even tho they’re horrible people.

My extended family lives in a border town (I live in a different town about 55 miles away), some of them are in the US as citizens and some are in the other side of the border. She is one of the people that are citizens on the other side of the border. Two of her kids, were born in the US. At some point her children started attending school in the US, using my grandfather’s address as their residence, except the kids, still continue to live with their mother in the other side of the border. Every day the children and her cross the border so the kids can attend school. The kids also receive assistance benefits that she takes full advantage of. I’ve visited my grandfather a couple of times and food in his pantry is very scarce, he mostly survives of food bank and produce boxes. One time the fridge was so empty I went and purchase groceries for him out of my own pocket.

More recently, my husband (40 male) and I have been struggling to make ends meet. I was laid off from my job last June, and it’s been hard to keep up in one income, I’ve been struggling to find a job, even when I have a bachelors degree and have experience in the field I work, our rent contract is ending by the end of March and we’ve decided that renewing the lease can’t be an option. We talked about our situation and decided that our best outcome would be to move closer to my direct family in the border town with our kids.

Since I can’t find a job yet, and our lease is close to end, I thought that asking my grandfather for temporary help would be a good idea (stupid me). He has a four bedroom home, very old house (provably worth nothing), the house is in very rough shape, dust accumulated everywhere since no one else lives with him. I explained to him my situation. I told him we would like to move closer but in the mean time while I find a job we would need his help, I’m not expecting a free handout and I already know he’s struggling financially so I told him we would pay him rent and pay the utilities and obviously the food. His immediate answer as to be expected was no. My eyes immediately started tearing up, he said that he can’t allow anyone to live with him, that the decision was not his and it was up to my cousin if she decided we could come and stay. This made me very angry, I told him that he’s the owner of the house and it’s definitely his decision, he made up the excuse that he’s supposedly financially responsible for my cousin’s children and that they technically live with him, and he can’t just add more people into his household or else their snap benefits would be affected he went and far to tell me he didn’t qualify for medical benefits because the kids “live” with him. I mentioned to him that it’s more risky to loose benefits when the children cross the border every single day, I told him I was not asking for help to take advantage of the kids benefits, and that we would pay him for us to be there. He tried to justify himself by saying he’s always tried to help when he could (this is the first time I’ve ever asked for help) and that laws do not allow him to bring people to live in the house and charge them rent. I told him that I could definitely tell the difference between who he prefers to help and it was very hurtful. His answer continued to be no, he said he was sorry he couldn’t help, and that he would discuss with his tax preparer if he could let other people live in his house. I told him to not worry about it and that the last thing we wanted was to be a burden and cause inconvenience to him.

Both my mother and husband said they were not impressed he denied his help. My mother mentioned how my cousin and her mother were in full control of my grandfather and everything they did was for their benefit. My mom says my grandfather is struggling to pay bills because of the two brand new cars he’s given my cousin in just the past year. My husband and I agreed it would be fine if he said no, but the excuses he made were stupid. I feel very upset, I have never made my self vulnerable, all I own and have is because my husband and I have worked hard, this time we are definitely struggling and I’m very stressed out that I can’t find a job, I thought that he would be understanding of our situation. My husband thinks that people like my cousin give undocumented immigrants and bad rap and she is one of the reason why this group struggles in the US. He told me I must report the benefits fraud, I feel bad for the kids, I genuinely care for them to loose little they have. Would I be wrong for reporting her and my grandfather?