Ridiculous things that you think of at night, and lead to rabbit holes…

Do you all have things that come to mind late at night that are likely not even close to being the reason for your loss, but they pop in your head and then you have the tiniest bit of you that thinks… “but what if?…”

I currently have two- First is that I was pregnant during the eclipse and I had a friend who freaked out when I suggested that I wanted to go outside and view it (with glasses). She was convinced that if I did, something would “be wrong” with the baby, but she seemed to think it would be a deformity, not a loss and he was completely perfect, he just died. Anyway, I went outside and I looked, and now late at night, the smallest part of me thinks… what if that was the “thing” that caused his death…?

The second one is the fact that I went in hot tubs and took baths a bunch during my third trimester, already I thought, “could that have been why?” My Midwife quickly put that thought to rest and said it’s really only unsafe in the earlier months of pregnancy. However, I did have a very sore toe the one time I took a bath, towards the end, and now my weird thought is “what if it was a fungus, and it caused an infection and that’s what caused the loss…”

Now I know all of these are super ridiculous which is why I titled this post the way I did, but that doesn’t mean I don’t stay up thinking and googling and ending up down crazy rabbit holes that basically say there is no way it was any of these things… I still do that.

Am I the only one, please reassure me that I’m not…