Did you get worse over time

I’m 17 I used to be alright, good kid. Over time I’ve gotten so much worse, it feels like I’m going insane. The swings from the deepest depression to being high on life is killing me.

I had a few breakdowns recently if you can call it that. I Went to my family doctor who got me to go to a psychiatrist. After a months wait I went to the psychiatrist and had the worst medical experience of my life, she didn’t listen, she wouldn’t shut up, she only game me forms to fill out instead of talking. Diagnosed me with depression and tried to prescribe me meds, I denied and everything went downhill from there.

I went into my doctors appointment optimistic and happy, maybe I’d find out what is wrong with me. After literally arguing with the psychiatrist for like 20 minutes at the end and watching her literally storm out (not even kidding she said “times up” and left). I feel like I have nobody to turn to. I feel like hurting people, I feel like hurting myself.

I feel like doing something extreme so somebody might take me seriously. Something is wrong with me and it’s getting worse.