Whoever invented this elf can go fuck themselves

I held out for 6 years on this damn elf. Then, my kid was heartbroken because everyone else we knew had one.

My kids don’t sleep. Sometimes I’m falling asleep before they’re completely out.

But now the elf doesn’t just move, no, it causes mischief.

Why? Why are parents doing this to themselves? And when do they find time?

Ours just moves from place to place during the week, but COME ON. My friend literally spread shaving cream over their mirror and counter.

I can only imagine what is going to be said in school, and soon I’ll be fielding questions as to why our elf doesn’t act like a complete asshole.

I’m just assuming that if you are doing this kind of shit, your kids are little angels all the time.

Because otherwise…

Why?!