I went to Turkey and had gastric bypass surgery and didn't tell anyone.

I always struggled with my weight. I was a BIG gal. Tried all kinds of diets and exercise but I just wasn't shedding off the weight fast enough, and I always end up failing and stopping. I saved up and decided to book a gastric bypass in another country. It was the most terrifying thing I'd ever done. It went well, and it's worked great, I lost weight SO quickly, purely because I couldn't psychically eat as much as I could before, I felt like doing this to myself was a last resort. I was there for 3 days nobody knew. Once I felt a little better I was still doing some exercise too, and eating (what I could) healthy. I've continued to do this since (with cheat days of course, where I have something i really want, but i never finish it, because I can't) I've got friends who are also big gals really congratulate me for doing so well this time on my diet. My family praise me for keeping to my diet this time. But like, I'm only like this now because of that surgery. I've literally had a portion of my stomach cut away.. Kinda feel like a sham I guess because I just smile and say thank you. Realistically, I can honestly say I haven't really done anything myself. I don't want any of them to know, I don't plan on ever telling anyone what I did. I don't regret it. I look and feel great. But I can't help but feel that slice of guilt whenever anyone comments on "how well i've done."

Edit: Responding to some Comments.

● I went to Turkey because it was significantly cheaper compared to getting it done in my home country. It cost me £4000 in Turkey for everything, and that inculded flights and accommodation. Compared to the between £9000 to £15000 it would have cost me here to go private.

● I take supplements.

● I have a councillor who I talk to once every 2 weeks, who specialises in diet, nutrition, and unhealthy relationships with food. I started talking to her after I'd already had my surgery to keep myself on track.

● My doctor in my home country knows what I did (after). He wasn't happy with me for doing it, but I went to him when I got home so I could have regular care and check-ups here. All has gone well, and I healed great.

● I was allowed to leave the hospital after 3 days (which is standard), and other than being a little sore, and having terrible acid reflux, I felt fine.

● Nobody knew I had gone because me, my friends, and my family don't live in each other's pockets. It's not unheard of for us not to talk for a few days. So they wouldn't have suspected or known the difference. My work also didn't have a clue as I'd booked 2 weeks off using my annual leave, far as they knew, I was just talking holiday time.

● Yes, I did this as an extreme shortcut. That's all it comes down to. I lost weight very quickly. I wouldn't have without that surgery, and I know I wouldn't have, which is why I did it.

● I know that things like this are not really classed as 'taboo'. But I just feel how I feel, and I can't help that. There is a slice of guilt and social judgment from "taking the quick/easy way out" and I've never been ready to face that from loved ones, which is why I havn't told any of them.

● No, it's wasn't obvious to my friends and family that I'd had surgery, I felt fine. I had small incisions covered in small badage on my stomach, as it was laparoscopic surgery. I don't walk around with my stomach out, so nobody saw them. I wasn't keeled over in any kind of pain, so nobody had a clue. It went very smoothly. I'm lucky.

● I continue to live a healthy lifestyle. I eat well and exercise. I find it easier to exercise comfortably now ive actually lost all the weight, so it's a lot easier for me to not fail, as I have more energy now than I did before.