I purposely feed everyone around me more so they can’t lose weight before I do TW ED

I (16F) have been struggling with an ED for 2 years. I’m constantly yelled at when I refuse to eat and I am scared to eat in front of people. When I starve myself it makes me feel better when I see other people eating. Like I feel a sense of accomplishment when someone else is eating and I’m not. I like cooking for my siblings. Adding cheeses and fatty foods so they can enjoy it because I know I can’t. I feel selfish for this because I love them a lot and they enjoy my cooking but they don’t know the truth behind it. I don’t do it just because I want to. I do it because it makes me feel better about starving. Food is the only control I have. It’s taken such a mental toll on me and my grades are plummeting. I’ve been hurting relationships and just causing problems in my family. I feel so bad. I don’t know what to do