How do you convince yourself to date in your 30s when most people in relationships are complaining about theirs?

Do friends and family constantly complain about their relationships?

As a 34-year-old woman, I find it difficult to motivate myself to date. While I manage to go on about 3-5 dates a year, it’s not because of a lack of interest from others but rather a lack of enthusiasm on my part. I often find myself hesitant to dive into the dating scene.

Although I consider myself average in terms of looks, I’ve been told otherwise—something I’ll let people have their opinions on. Still, I usually have 2-5 acquaintances at any given time expressing interest in going out with me, so it seems I offer something desirable.

That said, the energy and excitement that dating requires is something I just don’t seem to have. I quickly get burned out, especially when using dating apps, which ironically have led to some of the more interesting connections I’ve made outside of my immediate circle.

What makes it even more challenging is that I’m constantly surrounded by friends and family who complain about their relationships. In fact, about 80% of the time, people who are in what I would perceive as stable, committed relationships are venting about their problems to me. I rarely hear any positivity. I understand that it’s normal to vent, but it leaves a lasting impression on me.

Here I am, single and often seen as “lonely” by societal standards (even though I enjoy my solitude), lacking the same level of support that couples might have, and yet I seem happier than many of these supposedly successful couples. Listening to these complaints makes me less inclined to even try. In fact, I haven’t opened a dating app since March.

Do other singles notice this pattern, especially in their 30s/40s? Does it affect your outlook on dating, making you feel less inclined to pursue it?

Edit: Evidently, this post triggered a lot of intrigue and lurking into my profile and resulted in multiple messages to me.

For context, I do live in Chicago, and while I’m happy to entertain DMs from other lovely Chicago residents, it is still going to be incredibly difficult to convince me to go on a date with you :) The stars need to align pretty perfectly to spark my interest, so to speak, so I suggest you all gravitate toward women who are actively dating instead.