My psychiatrists keep telling me to stop smoking weed but don’t get that I cannot function with the horrible thoughts spiraling all day.

From the second I get up to the second I go to sleep, I have purely only negative thoughts. Pick your choice, worthlessness, unlovable, better off dead, unworthy of love, deserving of pain and misery, I must feel pain all the time in order for others to feel happy and that’s ok because they’re happy so who cares about me, etc.

They all say the same thing “I never heard anyone say ‘I smoke weed and focused’” even tho I tell them I can’t do anything without smoking because I’m just spending all day thinking negative things, completely spaced out for hours at a time, staring into blank space beating myself down.

Seriously what the fuck do I do? Do I just accept I deserve this? That seems easier than fighting all this.