Can’t take it anymore

I’m 18 , and One day I felt dizzy and that night I had a panic attack (first one ever ) and since then I’ve just had anxiety , panic attacks and derealization . Every day I wake up knowing how I’m gonna feel . Not real I feel better when I’m in my house , when I go outside and meet my friends it’s so bad . I don’t even feel like I’m there and everything is numb and I can’t focus , obviously this makes my anxiety worse which gives me headaches and tense muscles and being on edge all the time ( I also got this a few years back from a really bad weed trip but I managed to get rid of it ) but I just can’t this time . I just wanna be happy and live my life . I envy anyone who doesn’t feel like this and I can’t even remember what it feels like to be normal . I just wanna feel me , grounded and in control :( . Any response would be great . I’ve been following this reddit for a while but decided to post this just to make myself feel better I guess ? Or any advise on how to feel better at all would be greatly appreciated